School Days and Empty Nests

For the first time in forty-nine years I will not be going to school this September. I always loved the idea of school and I was always fine once I arrived, but for forty-nine years I pretty much had a stomach ache every morning, and for the life of me I never knew why. People ask me if I'll miss going in everyday but I really don't think I will. Of course, I do miss the idea of not being with the kids - they were always my raison d'etre. But for the most part I am glad to be free of schedules and to be available to my family in any way they may need me. As September approaches I look forward to being involved in life in new ways - wherever life's twists and turns will take me.

And for all those parents who drop off their last (or only) of their children at college, my heart and prayers go out to you. For me that moment of driving away from our youngest after leaving him off at college was the most heart-wrenching event. My husband and I felt like two goobers sobbing in the parking lot of the university. The sadness of it all was overwhelming, and our poor son just didn't get why we were so emotional. But for those of you who've been through this, and are going through this, you know exactly what I mean. Does it get better? Overtime it definitely gets easier but the empty nest really feels lousy for a while. In time your relationship with this child changes in a good way, and you can once again relive the fun childhood memories without tears. In the meantime, cry all you want after the drop-off and when you get home .Cry it all out and try to avoid too much contact for the first thirty days. My son is a senior now and I only cry after he pulls out of the driveway to head back off to school. I don't know but I think tears are good once in a while. We cry because we love them so much and they have brought such great joy to our lives and that's a good thing. My husband and I are now at the point where we can enjoy all our children (four) for the wonderful adults they have become. Life is good.

Now for a quote from C.S. Lewis - " To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all dangers and perturbations of love is Hell".