ANNIVERSARY DAY

When your beloved dies, you grieve two deaths - theirs and yours. No matter what you may think, you will never recover, nor will you ever return to whom you used to be. That part of your shared life - your shared self - is gone forever. That empty space is now part of the new you. Grief is permanent, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But here's the thing. All of this is okay. It's okay because acknowledging your new life status is the healthiest thing you can do in forging a new way of being. In this new way of being lies your responsibility in finding new purpose, new joy, new happiness and new memories. Allow grief to always make you stronger and improved. It won't be easy and it will be painful. But you must do it! It's how you honor both deaths!

LEGACY OF LOVE

"Do not lose hope — what you seek will be found. Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped to help you in their turn. Trust dreams. Trust your heart, and trust your story." (from Instructions by Neil Gaiman)

A life lived in love. This sums up my life so far. As a sentimentalist, my belongings, of course, include all written correspondence accumulated across a lifetime. Grandparents, parents and my own. My grandmother saved all the special holiday cards from my grandpa - I read them all, I saw their love in words and in their everyday lives. Living in an extended family, I had a front row seat. My mom had saved all her love letters from my dad, written to her while he served in the Navy during WW2. The letters were beautiful and reflected the innocence of their youth. I took possession of these love letters and my grandmother's cards by rescuing them from the garbage when my parents moved from NJ to SC. Years later after my dad passed, I gave my dad's letters back to my mom. After she passed, I was never able to find them again. But at least I had them in memory. My parents and grandparents provided a home where love was freely given and celebrated in immeasurable ways. Since I was seven, I've saved all the correspondence I've received. In retirement I've enjoyed spending time reading these cards and letters and feeling the feels of love all over again. These are my most treasured possessions. To see the person's handwriting, to hold that which they once held, to read their thoughts - it is like experiencing the past in the present. These letters from family and friends allow me an intimate review of my life. And from this review I have come to see, and feel, and know, all that love again. It doesn't get better than this. Love. It's what sustains us all. I hope I have shared that love through my life in honor of those who showed me so much love. I hope it showed up in the cards and letters I've written too.