When Holy Orders Becomes Holy Disorders

Being a cradle Catholic and schooled for twelve years within the parochial system, I have certain expectations of those who receive the sacrament of Holy Orders. I expect that priests will guide me in my faith formation through preaching the living word of God, and through the power of Consecration, they will offer me the living Christ in the Eucharist. I daresay that the sacrament of Holy Orders comes with an awesome responsibility. It is a responsibility that places priests in unique personal relationships with the human beings they encounter. Imagine when those unique relationships are broken so tragically through abuse. Abuses by priests can take many forms – sexual, financial, and verbal. As a parishioner who wrote a letter to her Bishop asking for help and protection, the very priest that verbally abused me has vilified me publicly. In my case, I reported a priest who took the Lord’s name in vain, used foul and suggestive language in reference to teachers, parents, and children, and used obscene hand gestures at a meeting with four parish females. As this priest was new to the parish, I also questioned his lavish spending of parish funds. How stupid of me to expect protection from the Diocese! I received a very polite letter; but no apologies for what I experienced. The letter simply stated that my letter was reviewed with the parish priest and that he will be more mindful of his behavior. Additionally I was informed that all his spending is in line with approval by the parish finance council. Interestingly, I am on that financial council and I did not approve any of this spending. Then to make matters worse, this abusive priest makes severe, disparaging remarks about me at a Parish Council meeting. To other parishioners, he referred to me as a “dumb asshole” and was quoted as saying he would “like to take a hit out on” me. This is all so overwhelming and I am so heartsick over this. Never in my life have I experienced anything so vile, and to experience this through a priest within the Church which I love and hold dearly. Right now I am facing the darkest hour in my life as a Roman Catholic. Where does a good Catholic go for healing? How can a Diocese protect such an abusive individual? How does a Roman Catholic priest threaten the life of someone he should be shepherding? Where do I go from here? It is so obvious that this priest is in need of psychiatric help. I believe the Diocese sees this as well but does nothing because this abuse falls out of the realm of sexual abuse. Where is the sacred trust within our Church? Heaven help us all from the rampant abuse by those who received the sacrament of Holy “Disorders”.

Beyond all reason

The late Dag Hammarskjold wrote: "God does not die on the day we cease to believe in a personal deity, but we die on the day when our lives cease to be illuminated by the steady radiance, renewed daily, of a wonder, the source of which is beyond all reason".
For people of faith, this wonder sustains them even in the darkest hours of life. There is always the longing and the nagging suspicion that we were made for something greater, by someone greater, and we are restless in our search to stay illuminated, to stay focused, and to remain a steady reflection of that holy radiance. We do this in spite of what the world throws our way. We do this despite the meanness and narrowness often demonstrated by mankind. We do this because love always keeps away the darkness, always. We do this no matter how badly God may be interpreted by those who would do evil in His name. We do this because we are wonder-filled.