No Longer Young; Not Yet Really Old

It doesn't come on suddenly like the onset of a 24 hour virus. But one day you look in the mirror and you just know - old age has arrived and it is looking at you square in the face. Maybe it's your grandmother that you see in the waddle that is forming under your chin, or maybe it's your mother that you see in the crinkle lines around your eyes and lips. But damn you have arrived! And I don't mean that in a good way - like a coming out party at 16. Wow! How did I go from back there when I was a "looker" to this here and now - a grandmother? Well, I am here and I have arrived and as another birthday inches closer I have also come to realize that I like this elderly person looking back at me in the mirror. This person is definitely wiser and has survived things she never thought she could in a million years. This woman is confidant in ways she never thought possible. This person knows how to converse with anyone, and people are comfortable around her. This woman is not afraid to shine, and not afraid to fail. This person is beautiful in her new age. And this person's grandchildren think she is pretty special - and they would be right! A few years ago I read a book called, "The Time Traveler's Wife" and it contained a great poem which describes just how I am feeling. Enjoy.

Love After Love by Derek Walcott

The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other's welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.

Hope

"Do not look forward in fear to the changes of life; Rather look to them with full hope that as they arise, God, whose very own you are, will lead you safely through all things; And when you cannot stand it, God will carry you in His arms. Do not fear what may happen tomorrow; The same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you today and everyday. He will either shield you from suffering or will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations."

Summer Breeze

It's so hot and yet every once in awhile up pops a gentle breeze - the leaves rustle, birds are chirping in the background and you just lie there taking it all in like a deep breath. You close your eyes and see that it's the same every summer from as early as you can remember. The smells and sounds and feel of that gentle breeze - always the same, something you can always count on to conjure up all summers gone by - a Newark neighborhood as you lie on the attic floor eye level with the squirrels in the trees and there is that gentle summer breeze coming in that attic window lapping over you like a cool sea wave; a Riviera Beach backyard as you lie on a chaise lounge turning brown in the South Jersey sun waiting for that cool breeze to cool your baking body. At fifty-six you wonder how did it all go by so quickly. And yet it did. . .